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RPG rules

That's a bit scary, but it's a very interesting list. Good find Dakare, it kept me entertained for some time. NY being a bit.....flooded right now, I have not much to do.
 
I thought of some other rules for it too. For instance:
  • The Hat Rule: If a person wears a hat n(other than a bandana or do-rag), they are a mage. If they were a bandana or do-rag, they are a thief. However, not all mages wear hats (Lulu FFX) and not all thieves wear bandanas/do-rags (Rikku FFX/X2).
 
Haha, good one. A few of my favorites from the list are:
  1. Crono's Complaint
    The less the main character talks, the more words are put into his mouth, and therefore the more trouble he gets into through no fault of his own.
  2. Just Nod Your Head And Smile
    And no matter how big that big-*** sword is, you won't stand out in a crowd. Nobody ever crosses the street to avoid you or seems to be especially shocked or alarmed when a heavily armed gang bursts into their house during dinner, rummages through their posessions, and demands to know if they've seen a black-caped man. People can get used to anything, apparently.
  3. Bed Bed Bed
    A good night's sleep will cure all wounds, diseases, and disabilities, up to and including death in battle. (Except in FF!)
 
Here are MY favorites:
  • Thank You For Pressing The Self-Destruct Button
    All enemy installations and city-sized military vehicles will be equipped with a conveniently located, easy-to-operate self-destruct mechanism.
  • Sephiroth Memorial Escape Clause
    Any misdeed up to and including multiple genocide is forgiveable if you're cool enough. (My favorite)
  • Let's Start From The Very Beginning (Yuna Rule)
    Whenever there is a sequel to an RPG that features the same main character as the previous game, that character will always start with beginner skills. Everything that they learned in the previous game will be gone, as will all their ultra-powerful weapons and equipment.
  • Nostradamus Rule
    All legends are 100% accurate. All rumors are entirely factual. All prophecies will come true, and not just someday but almost immediately.
Here's one I made, I'm not sure if this was said...or right:
  • Villian Weapons Clause (Sephiroth Rule)
  • The major villian in the game MUST have a huge-*** weapon, most likely a sword, except when in their final form, where they are huge, and use huge Energy blasts for attacks.
 
My favorite:
  • George W. Bush Geography Simplification Initiative
    Every country in the world will have exactly one town in it, except for the country you start out in, which will have three.
lol

ones i made up:
  • The Walking of Dead People
    Every time one of your people dies in battle, don't worry about going back for them because once the monsters look away, your person will jump up and start traveling with you again.
 
RPG Facts

Post anything that occurs in most RPG's for example:
  • Don't worry if you steal all of the gold from a monster, after you defeat it, you'll still get more.
 
A corollary to the Falling Rule.
Hogging the Spotlight:
Nobody ever dies off camera. Ever. Even if they are trapped in a melting control room, or holding an explosive powerful enough to crumble a mountain, they will still return. On the other hand, a single off-hand sword swing is enough to finish off most secondary characters, and ensures a drawn-out death scene.
 
My favorite rules are:

"No! My beloved peasant village!"
The hero's home town, city, slum, or planet will usually be annihilated in a spectacular fashion before the end of the game, and often before the end of the opening scene.

Thinking With The Wrong Head (Hiro Rule)
No matter what she's accused of doing or how mysterious her origins are, the hero will always be ready to fight to the death for any girl he met three seconds ago.

Nostradamus Rule
All legends are 100% accurate. All rumors are entirely factual. All prophecies will come true, and not just someday but almost immediately.

"You Couldn't Get To Sleep Either, Huh?"
If any character in the game ever meets any other character standing alone at night looking at the moon, those two will eventually fall in love.

and the

Zelda's Axiom
Whenever somebody tells you about "the five ancient talismans" or "the nine legendary crystals" or whatever, you can be quite confident that Saving the World will require you to go out and find every last one of them.
 
The last one was because I didn't have enough time to read all of them just up to the Hey, I know you! rules. Here are some more:
  • [FONT=Arial,Univers,Helvetica]
  • Houdini's Postulate
    Anyone, whether they are in the player's party or not, who is placed in any kind of prison, fortress, cell, or detention block will escape immediately. Party members will be freed either by a small child they just happened to befriend earlier in the day or by an unexpected disaster that overcomes the enemy base, NPCs will be freed by the released party members, and villains will break out all by themselves because they're such badasses. Once a person has escaped from jail, no attempt will be made by the police to recapture them in the future.
  • [FONT=Arial,Univers,Helvetica]Short Attention Span Principle
    All bookshelves contain exactly one book, which only has enough text on it to fill up half a page.[/FONT]
  • [FONT=Arial,Univers,Helvetica]Seventh Law of Travel
    When on a voyage to another continent, the journey will last only as long as it takes you to talk to all the other passengers and the captain.[/FONT]
  • [FONT=Arial,Univers,Helvetica]Perversity Principle
    If you're unsure about what to do next, ask all the townspeople nearby. They will either all strongly urge you to do something, in which case you must immediately go out and do that thing, or else they will all strongly warn you against doing something, in which case you must immediately go out and do that thing.[/FONT]
  • [FONT=Arial,Univers,Helvetica]Arbor Day Rule
    At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says. I like this set though:[/FONT]
  • [FONT=Arial,Univers,Helvetica]Bad Is Good, Baby!
    The heroes can always count on the support of good-hearted vampires, dragons, thieves, demons, and chainsaw murderers in their quest to save the world from evil. And on the other hand...[/FONT]
  • [FONT=Arial,Univers,Helvetica]Good Is Bad, Baby!
    Watch out for generous priests, loyal military officers, and basically anyone in a position of authority who agrees to help you out, especially if they save your life and prove their sincerity innumerable times -- they're usually plotting your demise in secret (at least when they can fit it into their busy schedule of betraying their country, sponsoring international terrorism, and stealing candy from small children) and will stab you in the back at the most inconvenient moment, unless they fall under...[/FONT]
  • [FONT=Arial,Univers,Helvetica]General Leo's Exception
    Honorable and sympathetic people who work for the Other Side are always the genuine article. Of course they'll be busily stabbing you in the front, so either way you lose. Eventually though, they'll fall prey to...[/FONT]
  • [FONT=Arial,Univers,Helvetica]The Ineffectual Ex-Villain Theorem (Col. Mullen Rule)
    No matter how tough and bad-*** one of the Other Side's henchmen is, if he bails to the side of Good he'll turn out to be not quite tough and bad-*** enough. The main villain will defeat him easily. But don't weep -- usually he'll manage to escape just in time, leaving you to deal with the fate that was meant for him. These two are just awesome:[/FONT]
  • [FONT=Arial,Univers,Helvetica]Golden Chocobo Principle
    There will be at least one supremely ultimate improvement for your weapon or some way to make your trusted steed capable of going anywhere and doing anything, requiring hours and hours of hard work to acquire. Once you do achieve this, you will use it once, and it will be completely useless for the rest of the game.[/FONT]
  • [FONT=Arial,Univers,Helvetica]Golden Chocobo Corollary
    The magic formula for acquiring this supreme upgrade will be only vaguely alluded to in the game itself. Ideally, you're supposed to shell out $19.95 for the strategy guide instead.[/FONT]
  • [FONT=Arial,Univers,Helvetica]The Best-Laid Schemes
    The final villain's grand scheme will have involved the deaths of thousands or even millions of innocent people, the clever manipulation of governments, armies, and entire populations, and will have taken anywhere from five to five thousand years to come to fruition. The hero will come up with a method of undoing this plan forever in less than five minutes.[/FONT]
  • [FONT=Arial,Univers,Helvetica]In Your Face, Jesus!
    Even if you manage to deal with him that time, you're not done -- the villain will then transform into his final form, which is always an angelic winged figure with background music remixed for ecstatic chorus and pipe organ.[/FONT]
  • [FONT=Arial,Univers,Helvetica]The Moral Of The Story (Ghaleon Rule)
    Every problem in the universe can be solved by finding the right long-haired prettyboy and beating the crap out of him.[/FONT]


    [FONT=Arial,Univers,Helvetica](Yes I do realize that this list is long, and to anyone that starts complaning I say "boo hoo" :) )
    [/FONT][/FONT]
 
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