VICTORY!!!
Playtime 20:23:10
Deaths: 5945
Bosses Defeated: Mike Tyson, Mecha Birdo, Dracula, Kraidgief, Bowser Wart and Wiley, Mother Brain, Devil Dragon, and The (former) Guy
It has been an incredible journey. At the start the difficulty seemed to be at a point that I could never overcome. After starting to learn how the game worked, and learned that apples could fall up, I defeated Mike Tyson and Mecha Birdo. I then made it to Dracula, who killed me hundreds of times. In the process, I came to the brink of giving up, and began to believe that I would never beat this game. My sanity dropped to dangerously low levels, but I eventually overcame Dracula, and continued forward. After making it through the spike chase, and killing Kraidgief, I began to feel an incredible sense confidence and power. My sanity soared to levels I had never known, and in a seeming invincible charge, I took out Bowser, Wart, and Wiley, and then Mother Brain. With the path to The Guy's Fortress open, I continued onward and bested the minecart section and the Devil Dragon using a level of skill I never knew I could possess.
As I began to make my way through the fortress of The Guy, anxiety began to build. While the sections here were as hard as you would expect from the final area of I wanna be The Guy, and required complete concentration and precision, my thoughts were still preoccupied with the looming specter of the coming conflict with The Guy. I finally made it to him, and began an epic duel of ridiculous difficulty. With practice and persistence, I learend how to defeat his phases one by one, eventually making it to the sixth and final phase. While nothing revolutionarily new was added during this phase, the combination of elements formed a brick wall which halted me in my tracks. I began experiencing flashbacks of Dracula, and wondering once again if this final obstacle was too much, and that I might never beat the game. However, I continued and finally struck the final blow to his final form miliseconds before I was killed by an incoming fireball.
This game has taken me from the lowest depths to the highest hights of emotion, and after dodging the last apple I only have this left to say:
I AM THE GUY!
