Relationships!

[Dakare]

Yup, I'm being that guy. Anybody in any relationships right now, or maybe have had a recent break up they want to talk about, or a hopeful new relationship starting?

This year has been the most active as far as this goes. I had a girlfriend over the summer, although we never really got to hang out too much when we were together (everyone thought it was "weird" that she was four years younger than me), but then that ended about a month before I left for school. While at school I had a short relationship with a girl, but it never got serious and I ended it cause to be honest I didn't feel anything for her (if this ever happens to you, do the same. A bit of pain is better than have a long relationship only to end it because you never liked the person). Anyway, now I've been flirting with one of the girls that works at the school grill I frequent. Pretty sure she's into me, she always smiles when I see her, and she always talks to me when I'm there (and more than the normal small talk).

 

[webmasterbob]

Nice, about the new gal, Dakare. I'm not in a relationship right now. After my last, I decided it best to really think long and hard about who to date. There are a few UK girls that I've hung out with a lot here, but I didn't really want to start a LONG-long distance relationship. I've been hanging out with a fellow American a lot as well, who is pretty awesome, but we're leaving so darn soon. Who knows though, haha. I think the biggest thing for me since I've been away from the US for so long is how much I've learned about people, and what I REALLY like to see in people. For instance, I've realized that I can't stand ignorance. Harsh, yes, but it is what it is. An inquisitive mind, a great personality, (looks are a bit important to a certain extent...I think I speak for all guys with this one), and above all - just being compatible with me. I want someone not afraid to venture into theoretical discussions, talk about politics in an evaluative rather than subjective way, things like that.

Hopefully that was on topic enough .

 

[Dakare]

Yeah, I'd say that was on-topic. I know what you mean, though. Over the summer I wasn't planning on having a girlfriend cause I was going to be moving out of state at the end of the summer. It just happened to end up that she really liked me at the time, so I said why not. But holding off is good too when you're going to be leaving a place soon. I'm sure you'll find someone stateside, though.

 

[KingKrazyLink]

I recently moved in with the girl I am with, we are expecting our son February 15. this will be my 3rd child, and her 2nd. I have a 4 year old daughter from an engagement I was in 4/5 years ago. I also have a 3 year old son, which I don't like to be judged about, but I have no clue where he is now. Courts won't do anything but they say they cannot, that is a never ending battle, the mother was/is very irresponsible, and I would have liked to have known before birth and such, she just never told me, then of course filed for paternity, and then disappeared.

But my lady and I are expecting a lil boy, naming him Noah, I'm excited, we are actually talking about marriage as well, of course I won't just jump into that.

 

[Dakare]

Sorry about your son, man. But congrats on things going so well with your current girl. But, yeah, I know what you mean about not rushing into marriage even with a kid on the way. I had a friend in the same situation, they got married and seem to fight all the time.

 

[KingKrazyLink]

yeah, I mean a child is still a commitment but I'm not going to marry just for that reason alone, we get along fine, we have our moments, but thats normal.

 

[Dakare]

Fully understand, man. They are completely different forms of commitment, and I've honestly met people who make better parents then spouses and vice-versa.

On a side note, since I'm on winter break I cannot visit the grill and thus cannot talk to/flirt with the girl there. Which sucks. But I really think I'm going to ask her out to coffee or something the next time I see her. I figure that's safe, as opposed to dinner or something more serious like that. But I really don't think I've ever been this excited to go back to school, although it's not for the school part.

 

[Lt_Justin]

yes from my experience coffee is a lot safer then dinner because if it gets awkward you need only finish your drink then be able to make up a need for departing whereas dinner you wait to be seated wait to order wait for food eat wait for check ect and if it went bad after ordering your stuck. Also with coffee if it is going quite well it is always possible to extend the meeting into something longer, such as (weather permitting) taking a walk or something of that nature.

 

[ZeldaGuardian]

I'm in the best relationship I could ever ask for. I've been with my girl for over 3 years now. We have our own apartment and have been living together for 2 years now. It took a number of failed attempts to finally get it right.

Idk if some of you have ever been told anything bad in the relationship you were once in. But, sometimes, the other pinpoints out the faults that you have and keeps reminding you how much of a failure you are. But, if you know how to maintain your status and your self-esteem, then no one can truly hurt you.

I've been around the ropes a few times. I've learned alot of things that I would glady share with you all, if you have any problems. I'm just a PM away.

 

[Dakare]

Justin- Entirely true. I've been to dinner as a first date of sorts, and it was pretty awkward, although it was partly cause I, while fine at talking with people and carrying on a conversation, cannot for the life of me think of topics to talk about. And the was more or less the same, except she couldn't carrying on a conversation.

But, yeah. I still haven't seen her again yet, although it's only been the first week of classes, and I didn't go to the grill on Tuesday. Hopefully soon, though.

 

[ZeldaGuardian]

Dakare, it's not entirely hard to start conversations with girls, especially over dinner. When I first took my girlfriend out for our first date, we did sit in silence for a little while. But, I was making a joke about a certain Video Game (Legend of Zelda, to be exact), and she knew it!! It astounded me, soo we started talking about Video Games, then it went into our playing abilities of music (She's a flute player and I'm a Percussionist). Then, we started talking about our high school. Ironically, our high school were blood rivals. We both said to each other that the best relationships sometimes comes from your enemy, and we were technically enemies. But now, 3 years later, we are in perfect harmony and in love.

Soo, even making a small joke that can either make you look stupid or spark a new adventure with a new girl, it's a start. Soo, don't be afraid to possibly make a fool of yourself.

~The Great Sage, ZeldaGuardian~

 

[Dakare]

Well, finally saw her again today. Decided to just go for it and ask her if she wanted to join me for coffee sometime (I'm getting known at the place by just about everyone working there for always ordering coffee). Her response was that while she would love to have coffee with me sometime, and get to know me as a friend, she has a boyfriend. Which means I'm back to square one, and proves that I have not improved at reading people any. Cause I could have sworn she was into me. But no, she has a boyfriend. Story of my life.

 

[ZeldaGuardian]

XD!! Damn, I hate it when the girl throws the "I have a boy-friend' card at you... I'm sorry, Dakare. Doesn't mean you can't still be friends with her. Just don't be one of those guys that hope that they break up and swoop in to take the opportunity. I did that once, and it wasn't a good idea. But, nonetheless, you'll find her. She's out there, probably looking for you. Soo, I say still be friends with her and spend time getting to know each other.

~The Great Sage, ZeldaGuardian~